Lea Valley Walk

So, I decided to take the Lea Valley walk after reading about walking trails within the city. I started in Tottenham Hale in the north and walked down the river Lea until it joined the Thames in Bromley-by-bow. I walked further into Canning Town and to the Isle of Dogs until I reached Canary Warf. Needless to say it was a long but relaxing walk. Above is a snap of some boathouses near Springsfield Park by the river. #riverlea #thames #walks #london

Spring is Here

My housemates and I went out for a walk around ( more like hike )  in Battersea Park as London's lockdown is easing down. It was bright and sunny and warm apart from the occasional chilly breeze. The cheery lane was lovely and the light amazing so ofcourse I did not pass on the chance to take some snaps. It was a chill day. Much deserved.



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Nostalgia she comes every now and then

Seated at the park listening to songs I haven't heard in a long while... Five Four Fighting's 100 years play and I'm reaky getting nostalgic. I don't necessarily feel sad- maybe a bit. I'm more overwelmed by a feeling of comfort and warmth despite the chilly British spring evening breeze.

I guess the whole spring atmosphere just lifts your spirits. I mean I do miss my parents, my family back home. I think of my younger days and all the "if onlies" abd how it felt back then to be younger and full of potentials and dreams.

I am grateful for where I am now though. Never would have my 22 year old self thought that I'd be living in the UK in my early thirties. Still you can't help but long for that spark you had when you were in your twenties.

Let's go for a walk!

Walks. I like to take walks. They're alike therapy to me. An escape if you will- from all the copious amount of bullsh*t that can be in the world - even if olny for a short while. It allows you to be with yourself and just be yourself; to be alone in your thoughts. It's comforting! It is in these strolls that you start to notice things that you otherwise did not really take the time to notice because you were preoccupied with all the other things in life. It can be overwhelming.

Getting lost on purpose is necessary once in awhile. It allows you to loosen up and not care for once. It gives you a sense of freedom even. You don't have to think really hard. You just wander. Let you feet take you where it feels like going.

Yesterday I went for one these long walks although I wasn't alone but still it was therapeutic. MY friend went with me. So we walked and walked and we didn't feel tired at all. We kept on going until we realized we were at the next train station. To be specific, from Camberwell Green to Denmark Hill to Herne Hill!

Allowing your self to get lost and not care every now and then is vital. I must say after that walk I felt good. Rejuvenated even. Plus I got to take some snaps along the way.

Some days are just...

https://instagram.com/p/BjiH6mghLmxlF3uWh-GRgq3zR4iis989A6c1rE0

So, the past two days for me didn't go as much as I would desire. I don't even want to talk about it, but I just need to let it out. I don't think anyone would genuinely be interested in hearing about it-- so I just write here. 

It's June, 09, 2018. I am in London now. Working as a nurse with the NHS. So yes, the incident concerned here in my entry is work-related. In a way, it is expected. We all have bad days. So, to put it briefly, I had two bad days at work (bad isn't enough to describe it.) I don't want to go into details anymore. I just feel exhausted. There! I said it. Overwhelmed. I honestly thought that work would be easier here then back home, boy was I wrong! 

I'm in the medical department so it's heavy. Yes, I envy my friend in another area. He seems to have it easy and they get good support there. Sometimes I get irritated when after work he talks about how his day has been from work. It's like he is putting it in my face that I am in the least favourable area. Yes, he complains sometimes that things were rough at work and I'm sitting there thinking, "try going to my ward bro!". 

I try to comfort myself everyday with thoughts like "you've gone this far... you're blessed.." it works to some degree but it's not enough fuel to get me through my day. I shouldn't even be doing that in the first place. I should be going to work, excited and happy... and I am no where near that. The thoughts of if nursing is really for me is creeping into my head again and rearing its ugly head saying"I told you so!"

Still, I remain hopeful. Yeah that's me. Holding on always to that last branch before the waterfall. It's been only four months since I arrived here. So, hopefully I will get to find my comfort here... and maybe transfer area!

  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy

The Commute



There is a sense of solace you get during nightly commutes home. Looking around as we gently rock from side to side (occasional bumps) I am caught by the diversity of fellow commuters with me- the tired saleslady closing her eyes as the cool wind brushes her face, the two school girls in the back quietly giggling over something in one of there phones, the 6 year old girl asleep with her backpack in front as she is held by her mother who is clutching a plastic grocery bag in her hands - around us the city is still in a rush but somehow inside that jeep, draped in the dim amber light, everything is calm and yearning for home.

the story so far

On the 25th of May 2015, I stepped out into the tarmac of Mactan International Airport in Cebu. I have been here before, three times I believe- only this time I will be seeing Cebu for a long while. So yes, I moved. After twenty-eight years (practically my lifetime) I left Jolo, Sulu. This time it won’t be three days, a week or a month (the longest I’ve been away from home was 3 months during my Nursing Board Exam review days). Needless to say it was a very difficult descision. I have been there all my life.




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an update

 Yeah, so I had one o those relapse episodes once again... last week was not my week. I don't know, but when last Monday hit I felt like as a massive dose of depressant was injected into my system. As expected, it practically effected my every function (other then my love for food). I was lazy, always pouting and felt hopeless - it was anhedonia full blast! 

Music and rides around town was a temporary escape. I hated my room. I dint like staying in there. Its like full of bad vibes at the time. I performed badly in class. I wasn't prepared. My reporting sucked! I wasn't satisfied with my performance - I'm better than that! 

I felt left out, alone, lonely - the whole "emo-enchalada"! Jeezz! 
 
There still an air of the "being left out" thing in the air- but what the hell! 
 
I'm hungry again....

update

It's been almost two years since I last posted. I got caught up in a lot of things in life. Lots of work, issues and some crappy stuff and to top it all of, our internet source here was blown to pieces -literally!!

I'm still working here in my alma mater as an constructor, if you may. It's honestly not my cup of tea but over time it has grown on me. However, that being said, I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. Heck! I've got dreams. But right now, this is what I have to settle for. At least I'm getting paid rather a wee bit more then enough. I still have questions as to what do I want to be. I am a nurse, but do I feel like it? i don't know. Still I really want to earn so I can make my dreams come true and maybe get my parents a restaurant of their own. My mom cooks awesome!! yeah, I want a house. A Hacienda if you may. I want a huge land where me, my entire family can live in together. I hope I'll be reading this entry years from now, smiling.
  • Current Music
    Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
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